Editor’s Note: This post by Michael Clark is the first in a series that will feature former students of mine who have become professional writers. I asked each of them to focus on the topic, “Why I Write.”
Dr. Michael Clark has had an inspiring journey as a writer. He has worked professionally as a journalist, a high school English teacher, and now as a college professor. I first met him at Azusa Pacific University, where he became editor-in-chief of the student newspaper while I was faculty advisor. He had extraordinary energy and drive. Once he graduated and became a newspaper reporter, I thought his career was set for life. He was good at it, and he could have stayed with that work for as long as he wanted to. He married another of my talented former students, Heather (Murphy) Clark, an Honors student who became a teacher and is now a part-time college instructor. Michael felt the urge to try teaching, so 
he completed the education and other steps necessary to move into that career. Once again, I thought he was set. Then he felt the urge to earn a Ph.D. in creative writing and pursue fiction writing. He applied to universities across the country and was accepted at the University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee. It took courage for Michael and Heather to move their young family a couple thousand miles away to pursue this dream, but they did it, and once Michael finished his Ph.D., he was hired as a writing professor at Point Loma Nazarene University, where he now teaches.
This is How I Know I’m a Writer
by Michael Clark
I’m a writer. This is a reality I have finally accepted. I do not have a large number of publications. I may not be very good at it. I can’t really tell. But I am a writer nonetheless (if for no other reason than I use the word nonetheless unreservedly).
How do I know I’m a writer? Simple – it’s what I do. Two full novels written (unsold), a third well underway (40,000 words and counting), and more than 20 short stories (mostly on my hard drive) that I would show other people attest to the simple fact that writing is more than my hobby. My body of work is solid and continues to grow, whether or not anymore ever sees the light of day. This is how I know I’m a writer.
I have a stack of rejection letters, like every other writer I know. They’re from journals, publishers, and agents across the country. I have a spreadsheet that keeps track of all the times I’ve been rejected and accepted. According to this ledger, I’m deeply in the red. This is how I know I’m a writer.
When I hear stories of famous authors who struggled to find a publisher before they were finally granted a book, I am unabashedly soothed by them. The fact that Elie Wiesel couldn’t sell Night for years gives me hope, not that I will ever be Elie Wiesel, but that I can continue to try. This is how I know I’m a writer.
I simultaneously love and hate with the way I say things. I want the ability to revise my conversations as they happen and fully expect that every time I try to put things into words the result will be fantastic. It is a frustrating way to live. This is how I know I’m a writer.
Every aspect of the world around me has the potential to be told. To live and breathe not just in the moment I witness it, but on the page and for much longer than it would have otherwise. Thus, I am alternately interested in everything and overwhelmed to the point of shutting out those closest to me. This is how I know I’m a writer.
I often forget to eat, but I never go long without coffee. This is how I know I’m a writer.
I live in San Diego, three miles from the ocean, but I spend more time in a chair wrestling with the next character, the next scene, the next story than I do in the water. This is how I know I’m a writer.
People tell me that fiction is a dying form and it makes me nervous to the point of feeling like a poet. This is how I know I’m a writer.
I only find mathematics understandable if it is part of a narrative with tension and great character development. When I studied math, I often critiqued the lazy form of word problems. This is how I know I’m a writer.
If you are my friend, part of you might just end up in a story. If you’re my close friend, I might just kill you in print. This is how I know I’m a writer.
I write because it is comparable to breathing. When I do it, it is so natural I don’t think about the fact that I’m doing it. When I don’t do it, it’s pretty much all I can think about and I feel like I’m holding my breath. This is how I know I’m a writer.
Michael Dean Clark is an author of fiction and nonfiction as well as a professor of writing at Point Loma Nazarene University. His work, most of which is set in the San Diego area, has appeared in Fast Forward, Relief (where he later became the fiction editor), and Coach’s Midnight Diner among other publications. He is currently at work on his third novel-length manuscript and will move on to number four as soon as he is done. He’s sort of obsessive that way. When he’s not writing, he is likely herding one of his three children around or speaking to his wife sarcastically because sarcasm his love language.
Comments 13
“Every aspect of the world around me has the potential to be told. To live and breathe not just in the moment I witness it, but on the page and for much longer than it would have otherwise. Thus, I am alternately interested in everything and overwhelmed to the point of shutting out those closest to me. This is how I know I’m a writer.”
Exactly! To be so involved and deeply desiring to capture and put down a moment on paper perfectly, that when one is stopped for some reason, whether by a lack of physical resources (pen, paper, computer, phone), or of the correct wording without sounding cheesy, or of the time, or confidence in one’s ability to do so…it becomes so frustrating to the creative mind as all the beautiful, fleeting moments of life crowd together and go by uncaught. Thank you for the realization of that, Dr. Clark! Well said, and a thoroughly encouraging post for writers on the fence about their writer-hood.
Love this! I’m happy to be a very small part of the Clause family, among talented people like Michael. Amen to this: “I want the ability to revise my conversations as they happen.” So me. 🙂 Best of wishes, Michael.
I am not a writer. I write nursing textbooks. I give instructions on how to start IV’s and what is the pathophysiology of cellulitis. I do not consider this creative writing! I long for one creative bone in my body, for the gift of language, for the ways in which you and Joe can bring breath and life and fullness to a few words strung together in some fashion I cannot begin to articulate. I crave to be you. I envy you. Thanks for your love for teaching so that you can pass along your gifts.
Author
Vicky, I remember seeing your whopping textbook and thinking, I could never write that! So I think the envy goes both ways. You are certainly a writer, just working in a different genre than Michael Clark does with his fiction. I am proud to know both of you gifted people.
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I related to this piece a lot simply because for the longest time I did not accept that I was a person who wanted to teach English let alone be a writer! Obviously with this career path in mind writing classes became mandatory and it was only through the unexpected joys and many drafts of stories in my fiction class as well as adolescent literature that I realized I am a writer!
For some reason ever since I was little I would often communicate my most important thoughts, ideas, and or questions for my mom in a hand written note. I think that the ability to sit and process exactly what I want to say gives me peace of mind. Being able to think about the perfect way of saying things may just be a slight OCD behavior but I have realized I love writing things out.
I have noticed over the past couple years that I am a prolific letter writer! My brother, boyfriend, and roommates whether they like it or not, have received many hand written notes, ideas, thoughts or encouragements from yours truly.
With a couple short stories under my belt and what i consider to be a decent start to a novel, I realized that one day after my current schooling is done, my imagination cannot wait to finish working on my stories.
I guess my conclusion comes to this: even though I did not realize it at first, I too am a writer! I think the symptoms are pretty evident.
Michael, I am so thankful for your post! As a soon-to-be college graduate, I am continuously haunted by the decision of what to do with my life. In the thousands of career paths I have envisioned for my future, writing seems to turn up in some capacity on every occasion. However, I cannot seem to get past the obstacle that is my mind. I am taunted by the dozens of stories, poems, and plays that sit unfinished on my computer and in notebooks scattered throughout storage. The impenetrable thought that my writing is not good enough to be published has been a never-ending road block to achieving my dream.
But, as you have so eloquently stated, writing is like breathing, and that is what makes you a writer. It is not a matter of how much you have been published or the fame and fortune you have accumulated. You have a need, a craving to write, as do I. The rest of the pieces will fall into place as they may, and if Elie Wiesel can wait then so can I.
Writing is an addiction, an obsession. I write when I am happy and when I am sad. I write when I am angry and when I am offended. I write when I am suffering and when I am healing. Words are my communication and writing is my vehicle. On paper, I know who I am. That is how I know I am a writer.
One of the reasons that I appreciated this piece was the passion in the author’s voice. I often feel the same way when I sit down to write. I find myself finding multiple scenarios that relate to the fact that I feel a certain way. It’s the depth of his voice and meaning behind his examples that give a concrete feel to documentation. You find that when someone wants to share a story, a memory, or a feeling, they establish this aura to his prospective of passion. There’s a difference between introversion and passion. The reason I bring this up is in response to the section that spoke of ignoring friends and spending time away from the beach when he (the author) lives so close. In my opinion, it’s not that he (or you) wants to be away from certain things, activities, or people, but that your passion for what you love to do drives you to want to create an impact of meaning deeper. I like that and I find it inspirational, just what I believe writing ultimately does.
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Thank you professor for sharing this with us.
Another reason why you are a writer. I thoroughly enjoyed what you had to write. Writers have this ability to make the reader at home. Like he/she is talking to you and here you are listening to what he/she has to say. I don’t know if that makes any sense, but as I was reading what you wrote, I felt like you were speaking to me and I listened. I am glad that I did.
Thank you for sharing your story with us.
After reading what you wrote, I have realized that I am a writer myself. I may not be the best at it but I can’t live without it.
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