On any given day, certain tasks loom before me that I really don’t want to do. I’m not referring to bothersome but routine chores that are merely unpleasant. I’m talking instead about things I dread doing. These are actions that I know I can’t put off forever but that I can delay for a good long while. They linger on my To Do list day after day, sometimes month after month. I can never quite get away from them, as they niggle at my brain and make me feel guilty for neglecting them.
I call these tasks Hard Things. They circle around me like deadly predators, and the more I try to stay away from them, the more of them lurk at the edge of my consciousness. As they accumulate, I feel besieged and defeated.
A few years ago I started a discipline that has helped me get these paralyzing duties under control. Very simply, I do one Hard Thing a day.
I don’t try to do three hard things, or ten. Taking on that many would quickly lead to defeat in the form of procrastination, rationalization, or discouragement. I do ONE Hard Thing. That is plenty. One keeps things moving well enough, and it keeps me from abandoning this approach after only a few tries.
First, I have to identify the Hard Thing. I don’t do this in some vague way, but I say specifically, this is the Hard Thing for today. I will not let this day end without taking care of it. What I define as a Hard Thing may be an easy thing for someone else. For me, it is the thing I least want to do. It may be a phone call I dread making. It may be an email I don’t want to send. It may be a confrontation with someone I’ve been avoiding. For me as a writer, it may be a chapter I’ve been afraid to write, or a scene that feels too tough for me to take on. You’ll know what your own Hard Thing is. It’s the thing that makes you squirm.
Once I have identified the Hard Thing, I try to do it as early in the day as possible. That way I feel a sense of triumph for the rest of the day. Doing a Hard Thing today gives me even more confidence to do another one tomorrow. The number of Hard Things on the list steadily decreases. I no longer feel surrounded and outnumbered. Instead, I know that since I was able to conquer that horrible Hard Thing yesterday, by the grace of God I’ll be able to eliminate another one today.
Comments 9
Great post, great advice. I tend to create “dead days,” where I pile all the hard things into it–dreaded days where I have to have to have to drag myself forward to do hard things. This is such a great way to solve this. I also think that actually doing the hard things makes them less hard, somehow. There’s a psychological aspect to this, to procrastination, that makes the hard things seem harder. Thanks for posting this, Joe.
I think we all struggle with this at some level. It’s a great reminder that we can tackle those pesky tasks we want to avoid. I often say, “One thing at a time.” Now I just have to add in one hard thing too. Thanks for sharing this!
So well-said, Joe. I think I tend to go in and out of that mind-set. I have periods when I am disciplined about tackling the Hard Things (LOVE that term) systematically, and other times I just let them pile up. I guess that means I’m not actually very disciplined. Thanks for the inspiration to try again. I love lists – maybe now I’ll start a list of just the Hard Things, and begin checking off one each day, instead of moving them over to new lists each week!
I have had a somewhat similar process to Mary, and appreciate hearing your perspective on the importance of a systematic approach.
I often measure my day’s worth (which may or may not be a good thing), by its creative production. And that, in writing at least, translates (unless it’s poetry), to hours. My weakness is not so much procrastination (at least on the surface), as it is a general desire to spend time with people, which often gets in the way of my time for writing. So maybe my one hard thing a day will be turning down opportunities to spend time with people other than the weekend ;-).
Thanks for the great post! I’m looking forward to more!
Joe, thanks for this wonderful blog article. I had several ‘hard’ things to do this week. I just completed two of them today–early–so they would no longer hang over me. I passed this on to my son, as well, and he thought it was great. You may hear from him.
Great post! And I agree with Karen: do them early in the day. Don’t let them hang over your head. What a relief when a hard task is done and you can breath easier. And like you said, Joe, often the thing wasn’t nearly as bad as you imagined. Maybe eventually, I’ll even get to where there are days when I don’t have even one hard thing on my list!
Good idea. I find that anything I dread doing is best done in the morning and gotten over with. Though I still certainly manage to procrastinate my share of days. 😎
Your post speared me good! I’m guilty lately of letting the Hard Things slide until they don’t get done at all. So I’m making a list of Hard Things and will tackle them one a day until they’re done. (Or will more simply replace them?) Enjoyed seeing you at Blue Ridge last month.
it’s great advice – I just feel daunted because right now my Hard Thing can’t be limited to “one a day”… BUT I will persevere and come out the other side!